martedì 24 novembre 2009
I 3 test
Quali sono i test cui sottoponete una persona quando iniziate a frequentarla? Quali sono le cose che per prime osservate nell'altro per valutarne la possibile frequentazione? Ovviamente non mi voglio soffermare su alcune caratteristiche che do per scontate nella mia dissertazione, ma che purtroppo troppo scontate non sono: bella presenza, igiene personale e gentilezza di modi (dicasi educazione).
Elementi questi che, seppur calibrabili a seconda di ciascuno di noi (conosco donne che stanno con dei cafoni dai capelli unti!), restano per me imprescindibili, e vengono dunque da me esclusi dal test: all'evidenza, se mancano, non c'è nemmeno bisogno di considerare altro!
Il primo test che metto in gioco nel mio personale metro di valutazione è dato dal modo di vestire. Scontato direte voi! Ebbene sì, se un uomo mette la cravatta gialla con la camicia marrone, i calzini a coste beige a metà polpaccio, o i pantaloni gli arrivano alla caviglia, permettetemi di correre via a gambe levate!
Ma anche qualcosa di sdrucito, o consunto, o che sa "di vecchio" non mi garba, anche se è vintage o è firmato D&G...
Metto in questo ambito anche le scarpe ovviamente, una delle cose che più ti parla di una persona prima ancora che apra bocca: se porta scarpe a punta di vernice o stivali texani col gessato, per me ha finito di respirare.
E del taglio di capelli vogliamo parlare? Gusti son gusti, ma a me l'uomo col capello di media lunghezza finto - o vero - scompigliato/trasansato, fa solo pena, e trovo anche ridicoli certi pizzetti intarsiati che probabilmente richiedono grande maestria, ma che a me risultano solo fastidiosi. La c.d. mosca sotto il mento mi spiegate che senso ha?
Il mio secondo test è la guida: l'uomo che guida male, che è titubante, o che va troppo piano, avrà pure tutti i punti della patente, ma perde punti ai miei occhi.
Se uno è abile al volante lo è anche nella vita, nonchè a letto. Se un uomo non sa parcheggiare, o in montagna fa venire la nausea dopo 2 tornanti, oppure rispetta i limiti di velocità, tipico del guidatore familiare della domenica, è uno sfigato.
Questo penso, dite ciò che volete. Ovviamente dev'essere abile ma non troppo spericolato, perchè ciò sarebbe segno di poco equilibrio, quindi il calibro dev'essere ben misurato.
Infine il terzo test: il bacio. Ho conosciuto ragazzi che baciavano malissimo, ad esempio sbavavano, bagnando tutto intorno alla bocca, oppure mordevano le labbra coi denti (che male!), o ancora baciavano con la bocca chiusa. Sex & the city docet...in questa puntata Charlotte incontra un esempio di uomo-lumaca, o slacai nel mio dialetto locale. :-)
Se non c'è feeling nel bacio, beh è inutile insistere, non c'è speranza: donne, non cadete nell'errore di credere che cambierà, che voi riuscirete ad "addestralo" facendogli da nave-scuola...no, no, no, un ragazzo a 20 anni già dovrebbe avere le idee chiare su come si tratta una donna, anche se non ha tanta esperienza.
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